I've been at my last weekend of street pastor training this weekend, and yesterday's session on leadership and team dynamics was really helpful. (as were all of the others too), but they read out this story and used it as an illustration of that great saying I have on my noticeboard...
"My attitude is a choice, not a feeling"
I don't know if it's from there originally, but I googled it and found it here...
Mole was driving along a motorway with his good friend, Badger. Mole was enjoying the drive and feeling good about the world until another car, driven by Rat, cut aggressively and dangerously in front of him.
Mole was furious. He put his foot on the accelerator and chased after Rat, flashing, hooting and gesticulating. Mole was shouting and cursing and purple with rage. Rat simply laughed to himself, made a rude gesture and accelerated away.
Mole was quite upset for the next hour. His day was totally spoilt. He felt frustrated and inadequate, as if his whole sense of masculinity had been called into question. He had been challenged and come off second best.
Badger had noticed his friend’s behaviour but had chosen to say nothing for the time being. He waited until the time was right.
Finally Mole turned and said to him, “That sort of driver makes me so angry.”Badger replied, “Forgive me, but I’m really curious. How exactly do you allow yourself to get angry because of what another driver does?”
Mole was speechless. He had expected support. “What do you mean?”
Badger said, “What the other person did simply information about him. How you responded is information about you. How exactly did you make yourself angry as a response to the other driver’s behaviour?”
And so it was that Mole began to realise that he could choose his response to different situations. He could get angry if he wished, or stay calm and dismiss someone else’s behaviour as information about them. It didn’t have to affect him.
After that Mole began to enjoy his driving a lot more. Badger felt a lot safer in Mole’s car, and Mole’s wife noticed her husband was much less stressed and aggressive.
One day Mole told Badger that he’d found a great quote in a book he was reading.
“No one pushes your buttons. You just leave your control panel open.”
“That’s what I used to do,” said Mole, stressing the used to!
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