Last week I had to do my last assessed teaching practice of my degree! I used this photo of me from about ten years ago to facilitate student discussions about what their lives were like ten years ago, and how much things have changed.
On 18th March this year, it was ten years since I became a Christian. :)
I thought I might quickly blog about how that happened, and some stuff that's changed since then.
(i hope).
My family are Christians so I always went to church and believed in God etc. I realised when I was about 5 that I needed to decide for myself whether or not I was going to follow Jesus, and I wanted to, so I prayed a prayer but asked my Mum not to tell my brother in case he laughed at me. And it didn't really change my life at all.
I started going to camps when I was about 9 and each year I would make the same profession that I was going to change when I got home and start telling people, but it never happened. Until when I was 11, a couple of teenagers in our church got baptised and gave their testimonies publicly. I knew that if I wasn't willing to do that there was something wrong. I wrote to a camp leader and she suggested I talk to my brother about it (he's five years older than me). But I was too scared until...
One Sunday morning in church, I was looking out of the window and saw clouds moving REALLY fast across the sky and just thought... I am so not ready for Jesus to come back if he comes right now. I am not living for Him at all, my friends and my popularity and pride are more important to me than Him, so I said a short prayer asking for forgiveness in my head. But I wasn't sure if it has "worked", so I finally plucked up the courage to talk to Matthew about it.
And we talked and talked all afternoon... and evening... and then finally after church in the evening told our parents that we both wanted to become Christians. So we went upstairs and prayed together.... and I guess I didn't have a sudden epiphany of "oh now I really FEEL like a Christian", but I don't know... I know I am saved now, not because of what I've done or do, but because of what I believe Jesus has done for me. :)
Since then...
Practically lots of things have changed, I moved schools twice, moved to Devon (from Lincolnshire), came to uni, got older, lived in Belgium for a year, Matthew got married...
But more importantly I hope that I've grown spiritually, although I found school really hard, God kept me and brought me to Preston where I think I really started to own my faith. I guess that's the same for lots of kids from Christian families going to uni, suddenly you don't have to do things a certain way anymore, and you're free to decide. He's changed me, and though I still tend to want to be a people-pleaser, He has increased my love for Him and I hope that more and more I'm finding my identity in Jesus, and not in what others think of me.
I'm so thankful that it's not me that changes me, because of myself I can't do anything. It's a lost cause! It's only by God's Spirit working in me that anything changes at all... and there are still plenty of changes that need to be made. But it's like we've been looking at in 1 Thessalonians in small groups recently...
"...when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe." (2v13)
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it." (5v23-24)
And he WILL bring it to completion. One day we'll be perfect like Jesus and be with Him. Maybe in another ten years, or maybe in ten minutes from now... I may blog sometime soon about some thoughts we've been having lately about looking forward to that day, and seeing it as a reality, to live in the light of. :)
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